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Things that keep me up at night

 

Dollhouse
I am busy rearranging furniture at my house and in my daughter’s dollhouse.

Things that keep me up at night—too many to count! I sometimes feel like I might be one of the most neurotic people on earth for all of the insecurities and worries that can trouble me in the middle of the night. I often obsess over inappropriate things I might have said to other people in social situations, and am apt to feel misunderstood. I’m full of self-doubt about everything I do.

For at least the tenth time in my life, I decided to go through the Myers-Briggs battery of questions, thinking somehow it will help me figure out what’s wrong with me—why I butt heads with some people more than others. It always comes out the same. I even have asked my husband and children for suggestions on how I might improve my interactions with these people. They suggest that  I “just don’t say anything.” They know I will probably say the wrong thing! Inaction is not possible for me.

I am an INFJ, apparently a rare type. I’m not sure I completely agree with the assessment, which is why I keep going back every few years hoping I get a different answer.  I always thought it was BS, and still think it is, but here I am again—at least  the answer it yields every time is consistent. But what can I do with it?

things that keep me up at night—being an INFJ

INFJ stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which categorizes personality types based on four dichotomies. Here’s what each letter represents:

      1. Introverted (I): Prefers focusing on inner thoughts and ideas rather than external activities and interactions. INFJs gain energy from spending time alone or in small, intimate settings.
      2. Intuitive (N): Focuses on the big picture and future possibilities rather than immediate facts and details. INFJs tend to think abstractly and are more concerned with patterns and meanings than practical realities.
      3. Feeling (F): Makes decisions based on personal values and emotions rather than logic and objectivity. INFJs emphasize empathy, harmony, and the impact of their actions on others when making decisions.
      4. Judging (J): Prefers structure, organization, and planned approaches rather than spontaneity or flexibility. INFJs like having things settled and appreciate clear goals and outcomes.

Some people categorize this type as the “Mystic.” It is a creative, imaginative type. Lots of writers and artists fall into this category. Okay, but what about that Judging part? I don’t like that at all!

things that keep me up at night—insulting people

I have several friends that I manage to unintentionally insult or be insulted by every now and then. I don’t know what their MBTIs are, but I do know a few things they have in common. They are furniture movers and extremely detail oriented—perfectionists. I am not. Once I make a decision about the placement of a piece of furniture, it is likely to stay there forever. This must be the “J” part of the MBTI. It is the part I have most quibbled with when it comes to this Myers Briggs assessment of my personality. Specifically, I don’t like the characterization of lacking spontaneity or flexibility.

I generally think of myself as being flexible and spontaneous. I am not rigid. But, if I make plan (which I don’t always do), I prefer that plan stays in place, just like my furniture, especially if there are lots of other people depending on me to carry out my part. I don’t want to pull a chair out from beneath someone in the process of sitting. I want to be dependable. That said, I also don’t want to be crippled by the plan. At the same time, I don’t spend time wallowing in  details that seem inconsequential. It is enough for me to have a big picture plan.

things that keep me up at night—NOT THE DETAILS

Plans change. My husband and I recently planned a family trip. It was a little complicated because it was not a simple round trip. We bought our airline tickets first, and then rented places to stay in each location. Done. Oops, I forgot that I was supposed to go to the wedding of two friends who live close to where we were vacationing, so I had to change the plan, something I adapted to readily and willingly.  My changing the plan had an impact on other people’s plans, but fortunately, for all of us it worked out to everybody’s satisfaction. I was grateful for the flexibility.

A plan for me could be as simple as “Let’s have lunch next Wednesday.” I don’t need to consider the details other than the time and date. We can decide where to eat the day of, or even modify the time. I don’t need to know what we will talk about with each other or whether we will sit inside or outside (not a consideration at all before the pandemic). I have friends who really need to know in advance exactly which restaurant we are going to meet at, and they will even research the menu before going so they know what to order. That is definitely not me.

things that keep me up at night—not what i am going to play

I play bluegrass music with different groups of friends on different days of the week. I host a jam at my house every Monday. Most people show up dependably, but naturally other priorities come up, including for me, and we need to alter the plan. The big plan is that we are going to play songs together. We often don’t know who will be there, what instruments we will have, or what songs will be called in advance. This makes some people uncomfortable.

The challenge of adapting to new musical situations excites me.  I am unafraid to attempt a close harmony on a song I have just heard for the first time, while other people won’t risk that. Some people want to know the precise “correct” notes to sing. I also enjoy attempting to play a melodic solo over a brand new song. Who cares if it isn’t perfect if it sounds good enough?

things that keep me up at night—not what i’m doing on my vacation

One of my friends who I recently irritated with my inability to meet her degree of planning detail, told me she would never want to go on vacation with me. That’s doesn’t bother me a bit. It would be a disaster that would surely end our friendship—we have different personalities. I plan the trip so that it will happen, but I don’t overthink what I will do with every minute of every day, or even make advance reservations unless it is absolutely necessary. I am moderately inflexible about the enveloping plan, but flexible about the details. The plan is a container for lots of possible activities. I prefer spontaneity and flexibility in the details.

I have a low tolerance for a constantly changing container plan. Changing this part of a plan is always the most costly—especially true when planning expensive trips or planning something that involves the goodwill of a lot of people. Messing with the container plan early on is okay, but later is not.

things that keep me up at night—i still don’t know how KNOWING MY PERSONALITY TYPE WILL HELP ME

After this recent foray into my MBTI, I haven’t figured out how to respond more appropriately to my more detail-focused, perfectionist friends when they want me to. I love them, and see a great value in them, and want them on my team as collaborators.  Being forced to spend time hashing out the minutiae  to conform to their desire of perfection usually ends badly. I don’t mind others moving their own furniture, but prefer moving my own. And, for God’s sake, don’t send me an hour by hour itinerary for our next vacation together!  I’ll just meet you in Santa Fe and we can have dinner, go for a hike, or maybe we’ll just sit around on the plaza and people watch for awhile.

Oh, the things that keep me up at night!

And now I must go rearrange my own furniture—we are staging our house for sale, and also staging a dollhouse for the Portland Miniatures and Dollhouse show!

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Diversity in Literature Matters

Diversity in literature matters. Imagine a world in which literature depicted only idealized Norman Rockwell white bread families living in perfect harmony in beautiful houses. In every story, one white man, and one white woman marry, and then have birth-gender conforming offspring. What if nothing bad every happened in these stories? Imagine if literature only depicted the lives of people that excluded you, or the experiences that formed you?
Diversity in literature matters: How so?

Stories, fiction or non-fiction need to reflect the entirety of human experience.  Sure, reading about non-conforming relationships, or the way people from different religious, ethnic or racial backgrounds live and think may make some folks uncomfortable.  Likewise, depictions of violence, be it war or interpersonal violations—murder, rape, incest, etc—naturally stir up discordant emotions. That’s is the point art—to prod people into opening themselves to wider world views that reflect real experience of the human condition.

Some of you who know me know that my mother, Megan McClard, who died last year at the age of ninety-six was bi-sexual, or lesbian (depending on the day)—she didn’t much like labels. She said, “I love people for who they are, and then the rest follows.”

My mother was an amazing person who survived against all odds, and it is for this reason that I wish to encourage you to read and buy her book if you have not already done so. In an effort to get it out there beyond my “known circle,” I am participating in an online group sales promotion. The promotion includes both  her book, Leavings: Memoir of a 1920s Hollywood Love Child, and my newly released novel, Margaux and the Vicious Circle.

Diversity in Literature Matters: About Leavings
Cover of Leavings
Leavings: a Memoir

Megan McClard did not write the stories contained in Leavings to be a memoir. She wrote them as individual stories as her part in a weekly writing group that spanned years—a group of several trusted women friends. Only later, when she was ninety-three, did we convince her to organize the stories into a memoir of sorts, because they naturally formed a late-in-life coming of age story.

Part of her coming of age story involves her sexual orientation, although I would argue the bigger story is about overcoming the circumstances of her early life as a foster child in Los Angeles, and in her married life to my father. For her, her sexual orientation was ancillary—a part of who she always was. Throughout the stories she tells, the women in her life take front and center—they made her who she became, especially the woman she loved the most dearly. I hope you will purchase and enjoy reading her story. It is a love story you won’t forget.

Diversity in Literature Matters: About MARGAUX AND THE VICIOUS CIRCLE

Margaux and the Vicious Circle is a novel within a novel. In it, Margaux Andrews is a young writer living in Manhattan who has penned a semi-autobiographical novel about traumatic events that took place in her early childhood in the mid-nineteen-sixties. In Margaux and the Vicious Circle, Margaux’s mother is a lesbian, borrowing from my own life experience, but that fact is not the focal point of the story.

Anne McClard's Novel Margaux & the Vicious Circle
Margaux is here!

Margaux’s thematic elements relate to “the dangerous world.” A conversation I had with my mother in her last year of life inspired the book. She worried about her grandchildren and great-grandchildren because the world had become such a dangerous place. She said it was more dangerous than the world in which she or I grew up in. I disagreed. Her childhood was more dangerous than mine or my children’s.  I gave her countless examples. In the end, we agreed that living is dangerous—today’s dangers are different than the dangers that each of us faced in our respective childhoods.

Margaux and the Vicious Circle is about overcoming adversity using the power of imagination and in magical thinking—two gifts that my mother bestowed on her family. She had an amazing imagination and creative drive that elevated the lives of her children, no matter how tough the going got. Bad things happen, but they don’t have to define us.

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Margaux is here!

Margaux is here—today is the day when my second novel, Margaux and the Vicious Circle officially releases. If you pre-ordered it, you should receive it today or soon. If you downloaded a free pre-lease eBook, and you’ve read it, I would appreciated it if you posted a short review on Goodreads,  Amazon, or both. It really makes a difference to us struggling indie authors to get reviews, especially if they are thoughtful.

During the month of October, I plan to celebrate the release Margaux with in-person and online book launch activities. The first scheduled event is in-person in Portland, Oregon on October 26th, from 6 to 9 pm at Threshold Brewing and Blending (403 SE 79th Ave). This event is open to the public. If you are in the Portland area, drop by and enjoy live music from the incredible Whisky Deaf Duo (Annie Staninec and John Kael). I will be on hand to talk a little about the book and to sell and sign paperback and hardcover copies. Hope to see you there!

About the book

In Margaux and the Vicious Circle—a novel within a novel—an aspiring young author,  has penned a semi-autobiographical novel that details a number of traumatic events that befell her and her family when she was a young child, including the disappearance of a friend. Although bad things happen, the narrative is less focused on trauma, and more centered on the power of imagination and magical thinking.  Margaux’s novel “is a sad story, but it’s also a story about resilience and overcoming adversity, about how we’re often afraid of the wrong things. It’s about the power of imagination and how magical thinking and magic lift us up. It’s about love.”

Margaux is here—the event

I will donate a portion of the proceeds from the sale of the books at the launch event to CASA, a non-profit organization providing advocacy and support for children who have experienced abuse,  neglect and are in foster care.

Booklaunch Announcement
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Celebrating Megan’s Legacy—A Memoir of a 1920’s Hollywood Love Child

Megan McClard

 

Born on September 7th, 1927, in Los Angeles, California, Megan’s Story of Resilience

Megan’s Legacy—on this day, September 7th, 1927, my mother, Megan, was born in Los Angeles, California. Abandoned at birth by her mother, Megan became a ward of the City of Los Angeles. She navigated a Dickensian childhood, handed off between foster parents and various relatives. Her book, Leavings: A Memoir of a 1920’s Hollywood Love Child, published at the age of ninety-three tells her remarkable story.

Megan’s memoir documents the first half of her life, focusing on her resilience and journey from being lost to being found. Passed around between foster care and living under different names, Megan didn’t come of age until her thirties—far later than most. Her book honors the women who helped shape her into a whole person, despite the odds stacked against her.

Megan’s Legacy: Published Work and Free eBook Giveaway

Leavings: A Memoir of a 1920’s Love Child is a powerful testament to her strength and survival. In honor of her birthday, I am offering an eBook giveaway. Whether you prefer Kindle, Apple Books, or another eReader format, you can now access her story at no cost. If you own a physical copy of her book, this is a great opportunity to add the digital version to your collection.

Megan’s Final Years and Posthumous Writings

Last Thanksgiving, Megan peacefully died in her sleep after a difficult six-year period. At the age of ninety, a fall resulted in the loss of her mobility, cognition, and the ability to create art, or write. Despite these challenges, she completed her memoir with the support of her daughters and daughter-in-law—a remarkable last achievement.

In early 2025, we plan to publish some of Megan’s other writings posthumously. Stay tuned for more updates as we continue to celebrate her extraordinary life and legacy.

Download your FREE eReader version of LEAVINGS.
Note: other narrative non-fiction books are also being offered in this promotion.

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Things My Mother Taught Me

 

Megan McClard
Sketch of Megan, drawn by her sister Cynthia

Leavings: Memoir of a 1920’s Hollywood Love Child is the book my mother wrote that launched me into publishing.  She didn’t conceive of the writings contained in her book as a memoir, but rather an assemblage, individual pieces of a patchwork quilt, written over  years in her writing group in Denver.  Originally she wanted to call the collection “Rag Bag,” and in the end found herself resistant to publishing the stories at all.

She ended up calling it Leavings, because at the age of ninety-three, her stories are all that was left, like crumbs on a plate after a satisfying meal. She wanted her friends and family to eat her leavings—to remember her life through her words.

I am responsible for making sure her story lives on, and this year Aristata Press will publish a novel that she wrote, which is a companion piece to Leavings—a fictional account of the same period of her life—told in three parts. Each part tells the story from the perspective of a different character.

things my mother taught me: Of fact and fiction

Megan wrestled with the best way to tell her story. The novel, A Time to Heal, was written as her Ph.D. dissertation in creative writing. She never tried to get it published. She was ambivalent about revealing the truths it obscured under the veil of fiction. What would people make of it? I never read her dissertation until last year when she asked me to retrieve a copy because she couldn’t remember ever having written it. She couldn’t remember the title, or what it was about. She wanted evidence that she had earned a doctorate.

And so, I managed to find a copy through an online dissertation repository. Delight spread across her face when I showed her that I had found it, but she didn’t want me to read it to her. “Put it away,” she said. I regret that I didn’t read it to her. It is beautifully written, and while in her memoir she tried to “tell it as it was,”  the novel reveals more about her true feelings of the many situations she tried to write about objectively in Leavings. Both the “fact” and the “fiction” communicate their own truths in different ways.

things my mother taught me about point of view

Many years ago, long before reading my mother’s writing, or knowing her preoccupations with writing the truth, I began thinking about how we experience different forms of written expression. As a college student reading “the great books” at St. John’s College, and as an anthropology graduate student at Brown University I noticed my preference for reading poetry, fiction, and narrative prose over more expository, quasi-scientific writing. I became obsessed with voice and point of view, and the value of having multiple perspectives.

One time I expressed frustration with the great books curriculum to my mother, because at the time, the only woman in the curriculum was Jane Austen (although, my Greek class translated Sappho too). I longed for a female perspective. My mother, knowing that I had read Alexis de Tocqueville’s Democracy in America, suggested I read Society in America by Harriet Martineau, an English social theorist, a contemporary of Tocqueville.

For my senior thesis at St. John’s College I ended up writing a comparison of Tocqueville’s and Martineau’s perspectives on American society, and argued that the college should include Martineau in the curriculum alongside Toqueville’s Democracy  in America.  My argument failed to win them over, sadly.

On the bright side, my life trajectory turned because of my mother’s  introduction of Martineau.  I credit her with my decision to become a cultural anthropologist,  and subsequently a fiction writer.

things my mother taught me: All writing is fiction

The word ‘fiction’ comes from the Latin fictio, to fashion or shape. My mother taught me that. Everything written, whether ostensibly factual or not, is crafted into a narrative that the writer creates toward a particular end, scientific or otherwise. Subsequently, readers consume the written word and interpret it through their own lenses. The original point of view belongs to the writer (or employer), as does the motive for writing a particular thing. Sometimes writers express someone else’s point of view, but there always is a point of view. Truth may exist, but it’s fool-hardy to believe when someone says “this is a true story” that it is. We all weave stories to please ourselves and others.

My mother planted these seeds in me. Those were some good leavings.

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Awesome Gang Author Interview

Interview With Author Anne McClard
Tell us about yourself and how many books you have written.

I retired from the tech industry about six years ago, and during the pandemic, I started a non-profit publishing company called Aristata Press with a friend who was a founding member of the Women’s Press in Toronto. We started it because we were trying to help my mother publish her memoir, Leavings: Memoir of a 1920s Hollywood Love Child, at the age of 93. One agent told us that nobody was likely to take her on because she was too old to build a brand around, and we had already faced a number of rejections. Shortly after we published that book, other people asked us if we could help them too.

We decided we needed to be selective about what we published and developed a mission and a vetting process for our publishing company. In the meantime, I decided to dust off a manuscript that I had completed twenty years earlier—Butterfly Dreams, a novel inspired by my travels and research in the Azores islands of Portugal.

After a complete rewrite and updating, I submitted it to our volunteer selection committee, and it was chosen as one of four books we would publish in 2023.

What is the name of your latest book and what inspired it?

My second book, Margaux and the Vicious Circle, will be released on September 30, 2024. It tells the story of Margaux, a young writer in 1985 Manhattan, who has penned a semi-autobiographical novel that includes the unresolved disappearance of a childhood friend. She faces the usual impediments that all authors do—difficulties finding an agent, and pushback from family members who feel that her book reveals too many secrets they have worked hard to hide.

The story is really two complete novels that interweave details of Margaux’s childhood with her current life. Thematically, I was inspired to write the book because my mother kept fretting about how dangerous the world had become. I argued that the world has always been dangerous, recounting the dangers she faced in her childhood, and the dangers my siblings and I faced in ours. Childhood might actually be safer now—at least in the United States! Another important theme, present in both of my novels, is the power of magical thinking and imagination for overcoming adversity.

Do you have any unusual writing habits?

That’s an interesting question. I don’t really know how unusual my writing habits are, but I do it every day. If I write something down on the page and think to myself that it is the dumbest thing I have ever thought, I keep going! Ninety-nine percent of the time, a spark will fly, and I will end up with something I can use. I try not to judge myself and just let the ideas flow—don’t edit much while in the throes of writing. I love editing, though, and go over my manuscript again and again, even after it has been professionally edited.

What authors, or books have influenced you?

So many! One of the first books I read as a girl was Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder. She is the first author who made me want to write too. Then I was touched with magical thinking by C.S. Lewis’s ‘The Chronicles of Narnia’ and Madeleine L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time. As an adult, I have been most influenced by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Barbara Kingsolver, and mystery writers like Tana French and Donna Tartt. I also have a Ph.D. in anthropology and have an appreciation for good ethnographic fiction.

What are you working on now?

Mostly on marketing the two books I have written. That said, I have begun building the scaffolding for the sequel to Margaux and the Vicious Circle. I have a few very defined ideas, but there are some huge open questions still.

What is your best method or website when it comes to promoting your books?

I am a member of Independent Book Publishers Association through Aristata Press, and have found their resources to be outstanding.  Reedsy also has useful guidance, and I use the IngramSpark publishing platform. I advertise on Facebook, Instagram, Amazon, and through Google Search. I was delighted to discover Kindlepreneur, which is what pointed me to your site as a resource. It has been frustrating as a new independent author to find people to do editorial reviews. I don’t have the resources to pay for reviews, so have been trying to get there more organically. I can see things growing slowly.

Do you have any advice for new authors?

Be patient. Don’t rush your book if you are self-publishing. Get your book professionally edited by a reputable editor, even if you are an editor yourself! If you are going through the traditional route, you also need to be patient for obvious reasons, like the ones that led me to start Aristata Press. There is so much more to publishing than writing a good book, and it can be expensive, which leads me to my last bit of advice. Don’t get pulled in by all the scammers out there trying to make a buck off your desperation.

What is the best advice you have ever heard?

Buckle up—this ride ain’t for sissies. More seriously, be ready for the long haul and don’t expect overnight success.

What are you reading now?

I just finished reading the Midnight Library by Matt Haig. I liked it. He has a good way with words, but the storyline got stale for me at about the halfway point. Right now, I am listening to an audiobook—My First Murder, a book by a Finnish author, Leena Lehtolainen. Nothing has captivated me lately, but that doesn’t keep me from reading.

What’s next for you as a writer?

I plan to write another cross-cultural mystery set on the Blackfeet Reservation in Montana. I am very drawn to the landscape and mystery of Glacier National Park. And Grace McGuiver, the protagonist from my first novel, Butterfly Dreams, is from there, so it will give me an opportunity to explore a new location. Places are very important in my writing.

If you were going to be stranded on a desert island and allowed to take 3 or 4 books with you what books would you bring?

Bob Dylan’s The Lyrics (1961-2012) to inspire my songwriting, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson, The Waste Land by T. S. Eliot, and a journal of my own! I love poetry because no matter how many times you re-read a poem, you glean something new every time!

Link to original: Awesome Gang Author Interview with Anne McClard 

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Margaux and the Vicious Circle Book Trailer

 

Margaux and the Vicious Circle Trailer is hot off the presses. I am pleased with how it turned out. I hope you enjoy it. And then, I hope it entices fence sitters to invest in supporting an independent author, albeit, not a starving one.

I decided the time had come to start a YouTube channel after hearing over and over again how important it is to use video channels to reach new readers. Setting up my channel was more challenging that I expected, but I am looking forward to creating and uploading to it, as well as hosting some live events in the future.

why do books need trailers?

I decided to invest in developing a Margaux and the Vicious Circle trailer after an arduous journey through book marketing depression. I’m willing to try anything at this point! It begs the question why one would need a book trailer to attract readers, but it turns out if you want people under the age of thirty-five to take you seriously as a writer, you need to become a movie producer too. And if you are not made of money, you have to also  hone your graphical arts chops.

how can we overcome these hurdles?

This is just another hurdle for older authors to overcome in the world of independent publishing, whether publishing with a small press, a hybrid press, or self publishing. A majority of people, regardless of age and education, are unable and have no desire to navigate all of the media platforms. On top of that, most cannot afford the expense of hiring PR firm. Other costs include cover designers, book layout professionals, and editors to do line editing, copy editing, and proofing. The only way to overcome is to take things into ones own hands.

Can ai do all of this work for us?

Well, the answer to this question is resounding ‘no.’ AI doesn’t operate itself. People skilled at using AI tools can certainly get a jump on projects through idea generation, but your average Joe or Josie is going to suck at generating prompts that yield even good starting places.

I have discovered that one cannot rely exclusively on AI. The output is shabby at best, and this includes pretty  much every category of AI tool I have tested. More on this topic another day, though. I have a lot to say to all of the AI haters out there. If you are good at what you do, you are still good at what you do and will have customers. I, for one, will always have a professional editor.

How did I create this video?

I commissioned it from ‘a friend’ who doesn’t want to be named, and who in fact doesn’t enjoy doing this kind of thing for other people. I get that.

what’s next? booktok?

Ugh. I have signed up, but for the most part find it pretty uninspiring. I’ll keep you posted if I change my mind on that one. Until the next time, my friends. Let me know what you think of my first video advertising attempt!

 

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When Frogs Sing, We Listen

When Frogs Sing, We Listen
Watercolor by Anne McClard
Why do frogs sing?

I am sure some people wonder why I bother spending time writing books and songs. I sometimes worry that friends and acquaintances think my writing activities are egoistic. It’s possible that some think I am a pretentious poser, or that I am a bad writer, a bad singer, or a poor musician, and don’t understand why I bother. One has to start someplace, and typically, one doesn’t start at the top. And, besides, frogs sing because they have to.

I write because I like telling stories, and love the process of piecing things together. My two favorite idioms are opposites—song and novel—short and long form. Each of these forms comes with its challenges. The challenge with the long form is how to keep readers engaged, maintaining continuity, and keeping track of all of the characters and events. The challenge of the short form is to tell a complete and satisfying story in few words that lasts between three and four minutes, and also pleases the ear (most of the time). The joy lies in the process. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want an appreciative audience. That brings its own satisfaction, but it isn’t my goal. I love exploring words, thoughts and ideas at my leisure without too much regard for what other people might think about them.

Songwriting as Truth-Telling

I participate in Matt Meighan’s songwriting workshops, something I began at the onset of the pandemic, and have continued to do.  He calls his class “Songwriting as Truth-Telling.” I don’t know how many of his classes I have participated in to this point, but quite a few. To date, I have written more than seventy songs, most of them as part of Matt’s workshop. The only daylight most of my songs ever see is in that context. Some songs are better than others, but they are all worthwhile, and that is the truth.

During the pandemic, and while taking care of my mother who was dying, songwriting, music and fiction writing were my refuge. Many of the songs I wrote were about my mother, some inspired by things she said in delirium, some inspired by her lived life, and then later, her death. Those were not happy times, but Matt’s workshop gave me an outlet for dealing with the difficulties in my life.

In today’s post, I want to tell you more about how Matt’s classes work, because being a part of them has brought so much joy to my life, and I feel like there are lessons in it to be gleaned by anybody who has ever been on the giving or receiving end of criticism.

Each workshop lasts four to six weeks, virtual or in-person depending on the season, and also on the songwriters geographic locations.  Every week eight to ten songwriters—a mix of first timers and highly experienced—get together to share something they have written, a song, a poem, an idea for a song, whatever they are able to bring on that day. Matt suggests prompts every week, but no one is required to adhere to the prompt. Many people never use it. I am embarrassed to say that I usually do, as I love the surprises that emerge, and frankly I don’t always have a song waiting in the wings.

You can’t teach a frog to sing if you step on it

Matt doesn’t offer direct instruction or song critique, in fact, critique is prohibited. Each person sings or reads in turn. We don’t spend a lot of time discussing form or the specifics of “how to” write a song. That isn’t the goal. The goal is to listen to other people’s songs closely—to hear the words, story, word choices, voices, melody, and the chord progression .  There are rules. Listen. Hear. Be generous. Kind. At first, I was disappointed that Matt or my fellow workshop participants were  not offering up suggestions about how to make my songs better, but in time my perspective changed.

Initially, I wanted to learn more about structure, and different song forms, so I signed up for a Berkeley class. I got what I needed out of it—it had great course material, not such good human interaction. People were not kind. I didn’t want to put my songs “out there” so that some snotty twenty-something year-old could take a dump on me. And, after several times of attending “Songwriting as Truth-Telling,” I began to understand that the positive responses to specific aspects of my,  and other people’s songs, were the lessons. Turns out a one-word, one-chord song can be a good song, even when a frog is singing it—especially then.

An old frog sings

In case any of you are interested in hearing an old frog perform a few thus-far unperformed songs, I will be singing several at the open mic at Threshold Brewing and Blending, located at SE 79th and Stark on the 27th of July. It starts at 6 and ends at 9. We are looking for a few more songwriters to perform. Reach out to me if you are interested, and I will get you on the list. The slots are 10 to 15 minutes each—so 2-3 songs.

Stay tuned for my next post that will focus on the long-form writing I do! In the meantime, if you haven’t read my first novel, Butterfly Dreams, or ordered my second novel, Margaux and the Vicious Circle, now is an excellent opportunity to do so. While you are at it, check out some of the other great books in the Aristata Press Bookstore!

I am looking for early reviews of Margaux and the Vicious Circle. Reach out to me personally if you would like a free copy of the ePub to read. I will send you a download link.

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Help me build my email list for my author site

As many of my friends know, I like to write. My novel, Butterfly Dreams came  out on  August 31, 2023. I am ramping up my marketing for it, and have my book website almost up to snuff. It’s ready for a “friendly” audience.

One of the most difficult things to do from a marketing perspective is to organically grow a double opt-in email list from scratch with people who actually want to be on it. I am hoping that some of you would like to join, and possibly be willing to share with some of your friends.

Please visit my new website for Butterfly Dreams to learn more about my book. I even have two sample chapters up there to give you a small taste of the book. Eventually, the site will also include recipes for many of the foods that make an appearance in the book, and other Azorean foods that I enjoy eating and making. Signing up is easy, it’s free, and I promise not to torture you with too many messages.

 

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Daddy

I am posting this song for Father’s Day of 2022.  I don’t think my father would have liked it very much. The inspiration for it came from a confluence of things. I was in a songwriting workshop  for which our prompt was to write a song related to Bill Wither’s “Grandma’s Hands.” My previous song had been about my mother. She suggested that I try writing about my father. “Hmmm…” I said, “Not sure what I could write. Most of what I know about him is what you have told me.”

The process was a bit different than usual for me. My starting point was Bill Withers’s chord progression, and a 12-bar structure, a form that I had only used once before. As the song developed, the progression changed a bit, but I owe him the bones–thank you Bill Withers! After I was done, I sent it to my cousin, Garth Webber, an amazing blues musician who has played with many famous people, to get some feedback. He graciously offered to help me record it. I could not have done it justice on my mandolin. Over a couple of weeks we passed it back and forth, and this is where we landed.  Garth is an amazingly humble and kind person who never makes me feel bad about being an amateur. Thank you, Garth!

So here it is. I hope you like it.

Gerry_plane_cropped

Anne Page McClard · Daddy

Lyrics

Daddy was a pilot
A hundred flights or more
Daddy was a pilot
Ain’t no heroes in war
Daddy was a pilot
Mama used to say
“He wanted to be better
Than his dad in every way
Was afraid of flying,
at the end of the day”
Daddy was a pilot
Mama used to say

Daddy was a looker
Square jaw, eyes, denim’ blue
Daddy was a looker
Homberg hat, french-toed shoes
Daddy was a looker
Mama used to say
“He wanted to be better
Than his dad in every way
Couldn’t dress himself,
at the end of the day”

Daddy was a doctor
Fixed many broken hearts
Daddy was a doctor
Just like fixing cars
Daddy was a doctor
Mama used to say
“He wanted to be better
Than his dad in every way
Couldn’t fix himself,
at the end of the day”
Daddy was a doctor
Mama used to say

[INSTRUMENTAL BREAK]

Daddy was a captain
Sailed many different ships
Daddy was a captain
Kissed other womens’ lips
Daddy was a captain
Mama used to say
“He wanted to be better
Than his dad in every way
Seems he lost his compass
at the end of the day”

Daddy was a father
Bounced five babes on his knee
Daddy was a father
He didn’t father me
Daddy was a father
Mama used to say
“He wanted to be better
Than his dad in every way
Never really knew me
at the end of the day”
Daddy was my father
Mama used to say

Daddy was my father
Mama used to say

Daddy was my father
At the end of the day

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